A Mess, Nonetheless

When other people don't see us for who we are, or misunderstand our character, it hurts. It's painful and yet sometimes we aren't meant to defend ourselves. Sometimes we have to surrender the situation to God and trust Him to resolve it when and how He sees fit. Miss and Rachel share about their experiences with the difficult subject and share an abundance of scripture to discuss what the Bible says on the topic. 
Show Notes:
1. It sucks. It’s one of the worst feelings ever, IMO
Psalm 56:8 (GNTD) You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my tears. Aren't they listed in your book? 
2. Jesus was almost constantly misunderstood, even by his best friends and family!
Mark 3:21 When his family heard about this (people crowding around him and the insanity of his growing ministry), they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”
3. We don’t have to defend ourselves
Psalm 62:5-7, David said this: “I depend on God alone; I put my hope in him. He alone protects and saves me; he is my defender, and I shall never be defeated. My salvation and honor depend on God; he is my strong protector; he is my shelter”
Psalm 121 “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”
Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
Proverbs 24:29 Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.”
4. Stand confident in who we are in Christ 
In Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT) we see David praying, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you.” 
Jeremiah 12:3 (NLT) “But as for me, Lord, you know my heart. You see me and test my thoughts…”
Psalm 139:1 “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.” God knows us. He created us.
Trust that God will reveal the truth, and time will tell the story. 
Luke 2:2-3 Everything that is hidden will be shown, and everything that is secret will be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in an inner room will be shouted from the housetops.
Challenge: Take the baby steps, keep looking at Jesus. Ask God to quiet the mind when we are consumed with the hard parts. Put on worship music and take back control of what the enemy wants us to do, being consumed with the circumstances. 

In this episode Miss and Rach talk about the difference between Biblical convictions and personal convictions, and what happens when we put our personal convictions on others—legalism! They share examples from their own lives and talk through what the Bible says about it.  
Show notes:
There are things the Bible lays out and we should attempt, as best we can, to interpret, apply and adhere to them (murder, adultery, lying, etc)
There are things the Bible is not clear about and each person should rely on the Holy Spirit to direct, discern and convict. (Alcohol, tv, how we spend our money, etc)
Then there is legalism, and that’s trying to impose a personal conviction on someone else, as if they are conditions for salvation, or meant to be universal standards for holiness. That gets real ugly real fast:Self righteousness (I am better than you, or holier than you, feeling morally superior)
Pride (a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements
The Bible calls us to live with grace and humility, the opposite of those two things:Forgive others and bear with one another (Colossians 3:13), treat others as we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12) Love others (Romans 13:8, Matthew 5:44) this all points to grace.
John 13:34  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
Humility - Phil 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
“Those who major in legalistic religion often fail the final exam. If you miss love, you flunk the course. Compassion is a vitaL sign of spirituality. Disregarding others reveals ungodliness, regardless of how much Holy talk or Christian speak you use. (1 john 4:20)”
What do we do when we feel legalism creeping in?Confess, surrender, repent.
Judging isn’t our job
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature because I have rejected him. Humans do not see what the Lord sees, for humans see what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7 
What do we do when we feel legalism being put onto us?Pray and ask for clarity, is it a conviction we’ve missed? If not, surrender and forgive
Challenge: Evaluate your mindset, do you find yourself putting your personal convictions on others? How will you plan to change that moving forward?

Do you ever find yourself responding to someone or a scenario based on how you feel, rather than on reality? Emotions are not bad, or unbiblical, but responding out of our feelings can get us into a lot of trouble. Join Miss and Rach as they talk about their own issues in the area and the tools they've implemented to hold them accountable.
 
Show Notes:
There is nothing inherently wrong with feelings:Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Jesus displayed His emotions. He was overwhelmed (Matthew 26:37-38) He cried at the tomb of Lazarus. (John 11:35) There are several places where Jesus rejoiced.
Psalm 2:4 says, “God sits in the heavens and laughs.”
Feelings are not the same as truthIt’s dangerous territory when our feelings begin to replace reality, or be mistaken for truth. 
We HAVE to be willing to challenge our feelings (and allow others to) when they begin to take priority over truth and reality. 
We cannot always trust our feelingsProverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” Emotions would come under the heading, “your own understanding.” We should not allow our emotions to control our lives or our relationships with others.
We are not to suppress our emotions but we must not trust them or allow them to control us. 
Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Phil 4:5a Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. 
 
Challenge: Evaluate yourself next time your feelings get big. Do you let yourself respond out of your feelings or do you wait for truth and clarity to come?

You know who you are, you struggle to say “no” and you just want people to always be happy! Unfortunately, being a people-pleaser can come at the expense of our own happiness, sanity and can lead to resentment and anxiousness. Miss and Rachel discuss what the Bible says on the subject and Melissa shares from the perspective of a former long-time people-pleaser. If you’re not a people-pleaser, they have some thoughts for you too! They challenge the non-people-pleasers to help their people-pleasing loved ones move out of it by releasing them of expectations and obligations on a consistent basis. Find us on your favorite podcast app + YouTube.   
 
Show Notes:
1. It’s God we should worry about pleasing 
 
Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Proverbs‬ ‭29‬:‭25‬ ‭Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.
‭‭‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬ ‭We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118‬:‭8‬ ‭It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.
 
2. But  is it wrong to care about what people think? 
Galatians 6:5-6 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart.
Challenge: what is your motive for taking care of people? To make them feel better or fo you to feel ok?
 

In this episode Miss and Rach learn all about the Power of P.A.U.S.E. from their guest, Salina. It is a powerful and useful tool designed to help us when we feel bogged down, overdone or overwhelmed! Rachel has already begun using it and can confidently state that it lives up to its promise of helping us overcome our feelings of anxiousness and frustration. Catch us on all your favorite podcast apps + YouTube. 
Show Notes:
Spinning Plates Podcast
@Mrs.Salina.Johnson
www.salinajohnsonspeaks.com
 
P - Pause and Pray - Invite him in and ask Him to calm you. “I am not the master of all this, I cannot control all things.” - Salina
A - Agency - Recognizing what we can and cannot control. What can we control? Our reactions, our responses, what we do next. What can we not? How other people perceive us, or respond to us. 
U - Understand what’s next - When we start grasping for control, it’s prioritizing what truly needs to come next and what doesn’t. Do, drop, delegate. 
S - Set expectations - With yourself and with others. 
E - Energy - Having a better energy after this process. We should leave this “Pause” changed and better than we started. Redo it if we’re not better than when we started. 
 
Challenge: Try a brain dump, get what’s in your head out onto paper. Head to her website to get a free tool for this. 

Melissa and Rachel were asked to podcast a segment as part of a women's conference regarding when God doesn't feel safe. This episode is from that conference and we hope you'll find something beneficial in it. 
 
Show Notes:
When God doesn’t feel safe to us, often we stop going to him.
Think of a friendship, or any other relationship. Pulling away is natural when someone doesn’t feel safe.
When we stop going to God, He feels less safe.
We start losing trusting in God when we start relying on ourselves to feel safe
When we stop going to God we step into the enemy’s playground
God can handle us pressing in and asking him questions. 
 
Genesis 18:23-33 - Abraham questioning God “Won’t you save any of these righteous people?
Habakkuk questioned God: 
He complains to God about how evil the Israelites are. Then God replies he will use babylon to deal with them, and Habakkuk is even more mad that God would use even more evil to accomplish his plan. 
Job questioned God for 37 chapters while God intentionally stood aside and let him. Sure he put him in his place when He stopped being silent, BUT he didn’t walk away from Job in the least. He blessed him in the end!

Melissa and Rachel walk through the different ways that Jesus modeled community and what we can learn from Him. Tune in this week to see how you can be challenged in your relationship with the community around you!
Show Notes:
1. Jesus was very often surrounded by people, he seemed to fully embrace his role within a body of people
Luke 14:25
Now large crowds were going along with Him; 
Mark 5:24And He went off and a large crowd was following Him and pressing in on Him.
Mark 10:1Getting up, He *went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; crowds *gathered around Him again, (and, according to His custom, He once more began to teach them.)
Matthew 4:25Large crowds followed Him from Galilee 
Matthew 20:29As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed Him.
Luke 5:1Now it happened that while the crowd was pressing around Him and listening to the Word of God
Matthew 5:1
When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.
2. We also see a decent amount of Jesus escaping large crowds to be with his more intimate group of people. Because that’s also necessary when we live and operate within a community.
 
Matthew 15:39
And sending away the crowds, Jesus got into the boat (with his disciples) and left. 
Mark 6:45
Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side to Bethsaida, while He Himself was sending the crowd away
Matthew 8:18
Now when Jesus saw a crowd around Him, He gave orders to depart to the other side of the sea.
3. The final way we see Jesus model community is there were times Jesus simply needed to be alone with God
“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.'” (Mark 14:32)
 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35) 
After healing many, and before feeding the 4000. “Jesus went on from there and walked beside the Sea of Galilee. And he went up on the mountain and sat down there.” (Matthew 15:29)
After hearing that John the Baptist had been beheaded. “When Jesus heard, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” (Matthew 14:13)
Our community is better served when we each have time alone with God
Each of us needs 3 things: 
Time alone with God
Time with an intimate circle for deeper growth
Embrace new people to be part of bringing the Gospel to the world.

Miss and Rach talk with Katie Olson about what it's like to not only walk through infertility, but to be in your 30's and 40's without children when the majority of people around you have them. We hope and pray that all our listeners will listen to find some practical things we can do with and for our friends who can't have kids, or don't have kids, in order to make them feel loved and included. 
Follow Katie on Instagram: @k.olenorbs
 

Miss and Rach dove into some really important points regarding seasons of silence from God. They have a few points left to cover in this episode including the intimacy and trust that can come from being allowed to be silent with one another in relationships. Tune in this week because part 1 was just getting us started, there is so much more to come!
 
Show notes:
Stanton Witherspoon
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-practical-things-do-when-you-cant-hear-gods-voice-witherspoon#:~:text=God%27s%20silence%20isn%27t%20a,(Psalm%2022%3A2).
4. Recognize That Silence Can Be Intimate
In love, silence can be a sign of intimacy.
Silence can also be a sign of God's trust.
For Job, God's silence was also a result of the depth of their relationship. When Satan approached God, He said, "Have you considered My servant Job?" (Job 1:8). In trust, God chose Job.
5. Keep Talking To God
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us”. (1 John 5:14 NIV)
In Psalm 22:2 David said, "Oh my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest". 
God answers prayer. Never stop praying!
 
Challenge: Did anything stick out to you that needs to be implemented in your life on the regular, or simply during a season of silence from God? Write it down, make it somewhere to remember the next time you end up in a season of silence. 

Rachel and Melissa discuss the seasons in our lives when God feels silent. We are actively showing up, but we can't feel His presence for weeks, months or years on end. They also talk about times when we're praying for specific guidance and we don't hear anything back. Walking through the story of Job and God's long silence in his life during an agonizing time, they dive into what we can learn from the story.  
 
Show Notes:
Habakkuk 1:2 “How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” 
Psalm 22:2 "Oh my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest" 
Stanton Witherspoon
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-practical-things-do-when-you-cant-hear-gods-voice-witherspoon#:~:text=God%27s%20silence%20isn%27t%20a,(Psalm%2022%3A2).
 
What we can learn from Job through a period of God’s silence:
Examine your life.
Is there anything in our life that might block us from hearing from God?
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23,24
Do we have any unconfessed sin?
Psalm 66:18 says, "If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened" (NLT). 
Ask yourself: Do I have wrong motives? Is there anything (or anyone) that I love more than God?
Accept God's Sovereignty
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted”. Job 42:2 (NIV)
Recognize that God can be silent. There is no obligation for God to answer you, inform you or let you know anything.
Job 38:4-5 "Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?"
Job 38:12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place,
Job's wife suggests he curse God and die. Instead of following her advice, Job chooses to let God be God. "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" he asked (Job 2:10).
Listen To What God Is Saying
“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says”. James 1:22 (NIV)
In fact, it is possible that you already have an answer from God.
Challenge: Don’t stop! Listen to the next one! Take note of these points for the next time you walk through a season where God is quiet.